It’s no secret that raising a child takes a lot of work. But what about preparing that child for their future role as a spouse? That’s where the Husband in Training Curriculum comes in!
As a homeschooling mom, I felt that it was important to give our son a fully rounded education, including lots of life skills and lessons in addition to his regular school work. I came up with the idea of preparing him to be a future husband and looked for information, but didn’t find what I was looking for. I decided to write about it in hopes that it can help some moms who were looking for the same information I was.
This curriculum is designed to help boys grow into responsible, capable husbands. It covers everything from communication to budgeting, to cooking, and more! The best part is that it’s completely customizable and hands-on!
Below, you’ll find 59 lessons that you can teach your sons to give them some of the information they’ll need to become great husbands one day. You can go at whatever speed fits your children. Some topics, such as budgeting, you’ll want to spend more time on. Other topics, such as cookware can be breezed through rather quickly.
So if you’re looking to give your son a head start on his future marriage, this free Husband in Training Curriculum is definitely worth checking out!
Before We Get Started
I believe in a 4 step method for teaching children how to do a task that they are not familiar with.
Here’s how it goes:
- Have your child watch you do the task.
- Have your child help you do the task.
- Have your child do the task while supervised. You can provide feedback and they can ask questions.
- Have your child do the task without your help or supervision. Next, check their work until you feel they have mastered the skill.
It may seem like overkill, but children do not just magically learn how to become responsible humans. It is our job to teach them. I’ve often been told that my son is very self-sufficient for his age, but it is because we focus a lot of our attention on teaching him life skills during our homeschool.
So let’s get started!
How to Wash the Dishes
In a lot of families, the women and daughters are the ones doing the dishes. In fact, even when boys participate in chores, many families give the boys chores such as taking out the trash and mowing the lawn, while giving the girls the indoor chores such as cooking and cleaning.
Emptying dishes
Teach kids where to empty their dishes, either the sink or trash can.
Garbage disposal
Teach kids what can be put down the garbage disposal and what cannot.
Soaking dishes
Explain the need for letting dishes soak.
Type of soap
Go over which types of soaps you purchase and why.
Water temperature
Explain the reason for using hot water when washing the dishes.
Scrubbing dishes
Show what you use to scrub your dishes and how to do it.
Drying dishes
Teach your children where the clean hand towels are and how to dry dishes by using a dryer rack, a towel, or having a partner.
Dishwasher detergent
Go over the type of dishwasher detergent you use and where to put it.
Loading dishwasher
Show how to load the dishwasher to maximize space.
Starting dishwasher
Show your children how to start the dishwasher and what the options mean.
Unloading dishwasher
Teach children how to know when the dishes are clean and the dishwasher can be unloaded. Be sure to explain that sometimes the dishes may still need to be dried and sometimes a dish doesn’t come all the way clean and needs to be rewashed.
Putting dishes away
Teach your kids where the dishes need to be put away in your kitchen.
How to Clean a Bathroom
No one likes a dirty bathroom, which is why our sons need to learn how to clean bathrooms
How often to clean
Teach your children how often the bathroom should be cleaned. Do you clean the bathroom sink daily, the toilet weekly, and the tub and shower monthly? Whatever your cleaning schedule, take the time to explain that to your children.
Where to store cleaning products
Explain where your children can find the cleaning products needed to clean the bathroom.
Cleaning product for each part of the bathroom
Go over what products are needed to clean the mirror, toilet, sink, surface areas, floors, tubs, and showers.
Cleaning sink
Explain all the parts of the sink and how to clean them.
Cleaning mirror
Make sure to get all those toothpaste splatters off the mirror!
Cleaning toilet
Explain how to clean the toilet bowl, wipe down the outside of the toilet, and go over options for keeping the toilet fresh between cleanings.
Cleaning bathtub and shower
Explain soap scum, how to fight it, and how to clean the shower and tub from top to bottom.
Cleaning floors
Show how to sweep and mop the bathroom floors after cleaning the rest of the bathroom.
Emptying trash can
Discard your paper towels into the trash can and show your kids how to empty the bathroom trash can into a larger trash can.
Replacing towels
Show your children where to put the dirty hand towels, where to go to get clean towels, and where to hang the fresh towel.
Washing rugs
If your bathroom rugs need to be washed, be sure to explain how to shake the rugs outside, how to start the washer, and whether they should be dried in the dryer or hung.
Washing shower curtain and liner
If it’s time to wash your shower curtain and liner, show your children how to remove and replace the shower hooks and wash and dry the shower curtain and liner.
How to Communicate Effectively
Most people could use a refresher on how to communicate effectively. In fact, I recently read a book on communication that I swear by which is called Communication Miracles for Couples.
For kids, it helps to put a little humor into the lesson. Telephone is a hilarious book about a group of birds who pass along a message and get it all twisted by the time it reaches the intended recipient. Your kids will giggle all the way through. Then you can discuss the importance of communicating effectively and directly.
Make time to talk to each other
Explain that relationships take time, effort, and hard work. Talking to each other is the best way to connect.
Be honest
Honesty is the best policy.
Make eye contact
Explain the importance of making eye contact when speaking with someone.
Give your partner your full attention
Who wants to talk to someone about something important when they have their nose buried in a book, their cell phone, a sports game, or a TV show?
Use I statements
Give examples of “I statements” instead of “you statements” to help your kids understand effective communication that is less likely to sound like you’re blaming them.
For example, “I get worried about you when you aren’t home on time” instead of “you didn’t text me to let me know you weren’t coming home.”
Don’t interrupt
Teach kids the importance of not interrupting. For my son, we taught him to hold our hand when he has something he wants to say while my husband and I are talking. I pat his hand so he knows I acknowledge him, and then once we are at a good breaking point, I thank my son for not interrupting and ask him what he wanted to tell us. It has worked out really well!
Don’t assume
Don’t assume you know what is wrong or what someone meant by their actions or words. If it is not clear – ask.
Don’t call names
Explain how name-calling is hurtful and non-productive.
Curb anger before speaking
Explain that it is ok to take time to cool down when they are upset. They can take time to collect their thoughts before working on resolving the conflict.
Resolve conflicts, don’t let them fester
Teach your children how to resolve a conflict. Make up scenarios and let them figure out ways to resolve them. Explain the importance of resolving issues instead of letting them build up.
Realize you are a team
A good marriage consists of a team. When there is a conflict, each person should realize they are a team trying to resolve an issue together. Taking a team approach, instead of trying to win the argument is important for children to learn.
Practice active listening
Teach kids how to actively listen instead of waiting for their turn to speak. They should learn how to listen in order to understand, instead of barely listening because they are thinking of what they should say next.
Give solutions, not complaints
No one wants to hear complaints without an offer of a solution. Give your children a problem, go over all the things someone could complain about, and then have them come up with solutions. Kids need to learn how to solve problems.
Show you are interested in what the other is saying
Teach your children how to show interest in what someone is saying. Model this type of behavior when they are speaking to you.
How to Make a Budget
Money problems and money fights are the number 1 reason for divorce in America. We better be sure to raise our kids to know how to manage their money well.
I highly recommend reading The Total Money Makeover, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and Smart Money, Smart Kids.
Kids should also start using a Money Tracker or a Budget Planner during this series. It will also help if they have a piggy bank divided into 3 categories – spending, saving, and giving.
There are a few books that help kids understand money management.
If your kids like playing games, you could play Monopoly or CashFlow together.
Living within your means
Discuss what it means to live within your means and how to keep your bills lower than your income.
Income
Teach children how to calculate the income they may already have or how to generate an income if they do not have one. This could be anything from doing chores around the house, to helping a neighbor rake leaves, getting a paper route, or getting a regular job.
Bills
Go over some bills that your family has. I bet your kids have no idea that you have to pay for the lights to be on! You could even make it a game to see how much you can lower your bills!
Adding bills together
Either use the bills your family has or create some fake bills. Either way, help your children add up all the bills for the household.
Create budget
Teach your children how to create a budget. This can be handwritten or digital.
I like to create a document on Google Docs with 4 columns – the bill name, the due date, the date last paid, and if the bill is owed this paycheck.
Discuss what to do if there is not enough money in the budget to pay the bills. (side job, sell something, lower bills, look for a higher paying job, use savings)
How often bills should be paid
Discuss the frequency that bills need to be paid. Usually, this happens monthly, but some counties only charge for water and trash every 3 months.
Saving for long-term (emergency fund)
Explain the importance of stashing away money in case of an emergency. Give examples of times you have had to dip into your savings for unexpected situations.
Saving for short-term
Explain how to save for a larger purchase such as Christmas presents for family, a special toy, or a vacation.
Giving yourself an allowance
Make sure your children are giving themselves an allowance when creating a budget. This is the free money you can use to buy anything, but once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Giving
Children should be taught how to budget for gifts. For example, if I get paid every other Friday and I know my friend has a birthday before my next paycheck, I better budget money to spend on her birthday gift. Also, discuss donating and tithing.
Debt
Discuss debt and the impact it can have on finances and marriage. Give lots of examples. You could even have your children listen to some of the desperate phone calls on Dave Ramsey’s YouTube channel. Hopefully, your children can learn from others’ mistakes and not have to go through the same thing.
Credit
Discuss what credit means. Talk about credit cards and credit scores. Try to discourage your children from using a credit card as an adult unless they have the money to pay it off every month. Show them how the interest builds up and how much they will really be paying for a $500 gadget if they only pay the minimum payment each month.
How to Cook a Meal
Women aren’t the only ones who should know how to cook a meal. Your son’s future spouse will thank him (and you) when she comes home to a warm meal already prepared!
A great way to help your children understand how hard it is to feed a family is to read them the book The Seven Silly Eaters. It’s about a mother trying to cook for her family but everyone wants something different.
Food groups and health
Discuss the main food groups and how to make a well-balanced meal. Melissa & Doug have an excellent wooden toy set to teach the 4 main food groups. There are also really cool nutrition plates that are colored to show the amounts needed for all of the necessary nutrients.
Meal planning
Teach your kids how to meal plan based on your family’s schedule and routine.
Food allergies (If needed)
Kids need to learn about food allergies. This can be done briefly if no one in your house has food allergies, or you can go into more detail if someone in your family has a food allergy.
Grocery shopping
Teach your kids how to go grocery shopping! Look for items you need, make a list, budget for the groceries, and go shopping.
Main dish + side dishes
Let your kids pick which dish they would like to learn how to cook, considering the food groups. Next, teach them step-by-step how to create the meal. Your children can even start their very own recipe book. Don’t forget the side dishes!
Operating the oven and stove
Discuss how to preheat the oven, turn on the burners, and how to set a timer.
Safety
Don’t forget to discuss how to hold a knife properly and the importance of using pot holders when getting a dish out of the oven.
Cookware
Explain what the different types of cookware are used for.
Cleaning up dinner
Teach your children how to clean up dinner. In our house, the person who cooks the dinner does not have to clean up dinner.
Conclusion
Boys will become husbands one day. In order to make sure they are adequately prepared for those roles, it is important to start early by teaching them how to take care of themselves, their finances, and their home.
This article should give you a good starting point. Feel free to turn it into your own curriculum with essay questions and quizzes! Of course, every family has its own unique way of doing things, which is why I left room for the parents to create their own specifics of the curriculum. Feel free to adapt these ideas as needed. Let’s raise some awesome men!
